Conflict Resolution

Advanced Problem-Solving Strategies

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Problems that arise in running a family business sometimes manifest themselves as legal claims. That seems obvious when the company gets sued by an employee or vendor or customer, but can also occur when the other owners choose to invoke the courts when they suspect another family member of financial improprieties or mismanagement. Anger at the alleged offender can then fuel the fires of litigation, turning the conflict into a costly experience that can not only destroy the business, but can also destroy the family. And litigation may never resolve the underlying causes of the conflict, which could stem from sibling rivalry, parental favoritism, or some form of abuse. Those underlying causes of conflict can’t always be resolved, but they […]

How do we know whether those with whom we are dealing have hostile intentions? How do we establish communication with them? How do we develop trust? The new science fiction movie Arrival addresses these common problems in conflict resolution. Confronted by forces that appear new and dangerous, our human instincts urge us to fight or flight. Those instincts may also lead us to interpret ambiguous gestures in a threatening way. We face these challenges even when we are dealing with people we know who are speaking our language. Imagine being confronted by an alien race that communicates with symbols we have no key to interpret. The movie nicely illustrates the linguistic complexities involved in asking a simple question like, “What is […]

Dorit Cypis put together an interesting workshop at the SCMA conference this past weekend, in which participants explored the power of forming small groups to engage in dialogue. This format has been used successfully in a number of contexts to allow different points of view in a community to be expressed and understood. (See my post below on the Days of Dialogue programs on the future of policing.) It works because the participants in these groups learn to see one another as human beings They feel safe in telling their stories and expressing their feelings because they are taught to listen respectfully when other members of the group do the same. The topic in our small groups at this conference was […]

On Sunday voters in Colombia surprisingly rejected a peace agreement that took the parties years to negotiate. The agreement would have ended more than 50 years of a civil war  that has pitted the government against the rebel FARC army. This setback for the cause of peace comes the same week that Israel buried Shimon Peres, one of the country’s great peacemakers, the same month when a hard-won ceasefire in Syria seems to have collapsed, the same year that the United Kingdom voted to pull out of the EU treaty that has helped keep the peace in Europe for a generation, and the same year that has seen the growth around the world of nationalist movements, and of fears of […]

Someone renting the house across the street from us has been blasting loud music very late at night, and I’ve been wondering how to deal with it. The other night when he woke us up at 2 am, I wanted to go knock on his door, but I was afraid that might cause an ugly confrontation. Should I call the cops? Should I leave a note in his mailbox? I participated as a facilitator last night in another of the Days of Dialogue sessions being held around the city this year, on the very timely topic of the future of policing. One of the subjects my table discussed was fear: for example the fear claimed by police officers who have […]