Conflict Resolution

Advanced Problem-Solving Strategies

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You want to know about us? The kind of people you can trust, that’s us. Reputable people. About them, they are the ones who caused the problem, not us. The thing about us, is that we’re right. We did nothing wrong. OK, maybe we made a few mistakes, and the biggest mistake we made was probably getting involved with them. But for the most part, we’re right. As for them, they betrayed our trust. They took advantage of us. They cheated us. We don’t want anything to do with them any more. We just want them to admit they were wrong, pay us back, and leave us alone. But even if they did that, how could we trust them? They’ll […]

How do we know whether those with whom we are dealing have hostile intentions? How do we establish communication with them? How do we develop trust? The new science fiction movie Arrival addresses these common problems in conflict resolution. Confronted by forces that appear new and dangerous, our human instincts urge us to fight or flight. Those instincts may also lead us to interpret ambiguous gestures in a threatening way. We face these challenges even when we are dealing with people we know who are speaking our language. Imagine being confronted by an alien race that communicates with symbols we have no key to interpret. The movie nicely illustrates the linguistic complexities involved in asking a simple question like, “What is […]

Dorit Cypis put together an interesting workshop at the SCMA conference this past weekend, in which participants explored the power of forming small groups to engage in dialogue. This format has been used successfully in a number of contexts to allow different points of view in a community to be expressed and understood. (See my post below on the Days of Dialogue programs on the future of policing.) It works because the participants in these groups learn to see one another as human beings They feel safe in telling their stories and expressing their feelings because they are taught to listen respectfully when other members of the group do the same. The topic in our small groups at this conference was […]

Someone renting the house across the street from us has been blasting loud music very late at night, and I’ve been wondering how to deal with it. The other night when he woke us up at 2 am, I wanted to go knock on his door, but I was afraid that might cause an ugly confrontation. Should I call the cops? Should I leave a note in his mailbox? I participated as a facilitator last night in another of the Days of Dialogue sessions being held around the city this year, on the very timely topic of the future of policing. One of the subjects my table discussed was fear: for example the fear claimed by police officers who have […]

Tunisia, where the Arab Spring started, is also the first country to emerge from its revolution with a genuine commitment to democracy and the rule of law. This outcome may be attributable in large part to the work of the National Dialogue Quartet, a group composed of four organizations: the General Labor Union; the Tunisian Confederation of Industry, Trade and Handicrafts; the Tunisian Human Rights League; and the Tunisian Order of Lawyers. When Tunisia appeared in danger of falling into civil war, these organizations banded together and persuaded the Islamist and other parties to agree to a framework for negotiations that would lead to a more legitimate and pluralistic government. The quartet’s work illustrates two techniques favored by mediators: (1) acceptance […]